J Query Love

Many people think that boundaries are like a “keep out” fence that distance you from your spouse. In fact, appropriate boundaries bring you closer in Marriage. Respect is one of the foundational aspects of a close and healthy marriage. We all want and deserve respect. Below is a list of boundaries and ways to show your spouse respect. Employing these suggestions will have a very positive effect on your marriage.

Secrets are appropriate for birthdays and Christmas! Otherwise secrets are very damaging to a marriage. Secrets and lies are cousins. Secrets are unexpressed lies and have no place in a close relationship. Secrets often are about money and relationships. We do not have to share things from our past that we have repented of and that do not affect your relationship today.

 

Keep your mate’s flaws private. Do not discuss your spouse’s flaws with your family or friends. This is very disrespectful to your mate. The first person you should talk to is your spouse. Sit down and have an honest discussion about the problem. If your mate’s flaws become damaging to your relationship, seek out the help of your Pastor or a Counselor.

 

On a similar note, keep your marriage problems private. Seek help from your Pastor or seek Marriage Counseling. Sometimes even reading a good book on the subject may help; especially if the two of you read it together. Sharing your problems with family or friends tends to polarize the situation. Rarely, even if we are sure about it, is the person we go to objective. After all, they are our friend or family member and they care about us so much that they may not be objective.

 

There is a limit on how close a couple can be to each other if they are not also close to God.  Not only individually close to God, but close as a couple as well.

In our Marriage Counseling practice most of the couples who come to us want a deeper spiritual life together. How does a couple get closer to God?

The first thing to do is plan/prepare. Sit down as a couple to talk about the things that have made you feel close to God in the past or that you think would make you close to God in the present. Make two lists.  It would be common for each spouse to have different ideas. Since this article is about getting closer to God as a couple, look at the two lists to see if there is anything you could do together.

Set yourselves up for success. See if there is an item that both of you have on your lists (for instance prayer). Talk about how you both like to pray, when to pray, and where to pray. The goal is to come into agreement on how you would like to go about praying as a couple. There is an old saying that couples that pray together stay together.  Read more... (675 words, estimated 2:42 mins reading time)

“How to mend your Marriage when the Bank is breaking”.

Financial stress is overtaking many marriages today. It can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back when there are other issues in a marriage. Financial worries invite couples to play the “blame game”. No one is taking their own portion of responsibility, each just blames the other.

Whether it is a job loss, overspending, unexpected bills or a myriad of other challenges, this is a time to come together. It is not a time to point fingers. It is more important to plan together how to overcome the situation than to concentrate on whose fault it is.

There are times when both spouses share in the responsibility and times when one has had a greater influence in the degrading of financial stability. In either case, it is important for the two of you to be part of the solution.

In most marriages one of the spouses is a spender and one is a saver. This is quite typical. Often the reason for the differences is previous life experiences. But when you are already in financial crisis, it is imperative to join forces in order to get your feet back on the ground.

If it took a long time to get into the “financial mess” it may not be a quick turnaround. The time to achieve financial health will be shortened when you work together rather than focusing on the problem itself.  Read more... (692 words, estimated 2:46 mins reading time)

Marriage is an institution in which interpersonal relationships are acknowledged by the state or by religious authority. It is often viewed as a contract.

People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship

 

It’s truly sad to hear of marriages in trouble. No body want trouble, but trouble does happen. You may ask your self “Can I save my marriage?” My answer is yes, why? Because when you ask yourself “Can I save my marriage?” means you do want to save your marriage. Because if don’t or never think of that question, there is no way you can save your marriage, but how? So I will give you tips on how to save your marriage.  These tips you and your spouse can apply today to start the healing process for your relationship and marriage.

1. More communication

Communication is important in our live, so it same to marriage. If you fail to communicate with your partner, it’s about time your marriage will over.  The most common cause to marriage breakdown is fail to communicate or miscommunication between spouses. When problems arise, people stop talking to each other. Simply put, a marriage cannot be saved if the couple can’t figure things out together. When a new problem appears, a married couple needs to talk more, not less.  Read more... (472 words, estimated 1:53 mins reading time)